I start understanding what it means to be a human.
Yes, for real. I am thinking about this all the time recently.
Moreover, I do not even try to answer the big questions, the global climate warming or hunger in Africa. No. It is a very selfish endeavour; I am only focusing on me and my role here.
The picture in front of me isn’t bright. There is no happy ending. It’s not an epic Hollywood production, where the victorious main character walks toward the sun, with a smile on the face.
No, this feels more like a cheap B production, with a low budget, bad actors and awful camera work.
I will die, that’s for sure, and not many people will remember me, not for long anyway. After 100yrs there will be no trace of me or my existence.
I know, it’s very negative, it is dark. It’s chaotic. At the same time, I find this very liberating.
Why? Because everyone is in my shoes. I am not alone. We are all on the way out. And everyone is trying to make sense of it.
There is nothing to lose. There is no time for being dishonest. No time for being angry. No time for living lives of other, for trying to fit in.
I understand I will not be a world champion.
(Eh, even writing this makes me cringe, I always thought, that the one day, I would be!)
First, as I little kid, I wanted to be the best football player in the world, like my idols: Marco Van Basten or Ruud Gullit, play for Barcelona and be famous. Then I started playing handball, and for 15yrs I thought that one day I would play for Poland. It didn’t happen, I ended up in the mediocre second league team, not even making to the first team every time.
Then there was squash, I’ve got good quite quick, but even in my heyday, I only managed to get to the 16th place at the Polish Championships, once.
Now I have a triathlon. And the dream is still vivid. I like this dream!
I might never be the best in the world, but I will keep trying!
I also understand I have no real talent in painting, playing the piano, or writing. I will carry on anyway; those things make me happy!
I understand I will never be a billionaire, for two reasons: I have no talent for money, and I don’t want to be a one. There is a very slim chance I would be next Bannatyne, opening the gyms all around the country.
So what am I left with? Not much, but just enough to keep me occupied and engaged for rest on my life. It seems that I am good at motivating people and helping them get fit. I keep doing this.
There is my wife, Joanna, who is, in my eyes, the best human living. There are my parents and my family. There are my friends and people around the Fitness Soul. Remember, they struggle too, so there is no need for adding to their misery.
So I choose to be positive.
To be happy.
To always look at the bright side, and never give in…
Oh, that feels better, much better!
The middle-life crisis emergency alert is gone, for now.
Stay strong and enjoy while you can!